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Purple Angst 100 Times

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A lot of people keep asking me “how did you come up with the concept of Purple Angst?” “What made you write a book on anxiety?” “Do you suffer with anxiety?” “Is this novel based on real life?”

While Purple Angst is not a real story, anxiety is and I can think of 100 reasons for experiencing anxiety, in my eyes. So here they are, in no particular order because the thought of leveling them gives me #purpleangst… And I’d never finish writing this.

100: Crowds
99: Too much caffeine
98: Seeing an ex
97: The ellipses that’s shows up when someone is typing a text
96: Seeing more than 13 unread messages on any app on someone else phone (my friend Stud’s phone gives me major anxiety)
95: Going to sleep too late
94: Waking up early
93: Meetings first thing in the morning
92: When the phone rings after 10:00PM
91: Water bottle is low
90: Being the first to arrive to an event
89: Being late (which I always am)
88: Forgetting your phone and you’ve  already left the house
87: Sweat stains
86: Flashing lights behind you while driving
85: Small talk
84: Serious conversations
83: Making a mistake
82: Being called out for making a mistake
81: Calling someone the wrong name
80: Being called by the wrong name
79: Answering to the wrong name and now you have to identify by the new name to that person For-ev-er
78: Cancelling plans
77: Being called out on cancelling plans
76: Meeting new people
75: Talking with food in your teeth
74: Waking up an hour before your alarm goes off
73: Overthinking
72: Deadlines
71: Forgetting deadlines
70: Feeling inadequate
69: Feeling alone
68: Asking for toilet paper in a public bathroom
67: Also, the plop sound in the public bathroom
66: Being disorganized
65: chachkies
64: chachkies
63: chachkies – Yiddish word for trinkets
62: Too many pillows on a couch or bed
61: Disappointing your family
60: Being a bad friend
59: Rejection
58: Not answering emails in a timely manner (which is giving me #purpleangst right now)
57: Spelling a word incorrectly
56: Using the wrong word in a sentence
55: Awkward social interactions
54: The red bar when low battery comes on
53: Not having a charger on low battery
52: Low battery in the subway
51: No Service
50: Towns that looks like a scene from Friday the 13th
49: Sending screenshots to the wrong person
48: Everything about dating in this day and age
47: Going on a first date
46: Awkward goodbye on the first date
45: The check dance on the first date
44:  Failing in a relationship
43: Loving someone who doesn’t love you
42: Saying ‘I love you’ and it not reciprocated
41: The first 15 minutes of a cocktail hour at a wedding
40: 3rd wheeling
39: Even worse, 5th wheeling
38: FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)
37: Having FOMO so you 7th wheel it
36: The swipe or chip awkward check out
35: Buying condoms
34: Buying a pregnancy test
33: Waiting rooms in a doctors office
32: Waiting for results
31: Asking for help
30: Counting change at a store
29: Exchanging pleasantries with someone you know doesn’t like you
28: Long hallway Hellos (you know, Superbad status)
27: Silent but deadly’s (SBD)
26: Being with one other person when SBD occurs
25: Growing up
24: Not being sure with yourself
23: Admitting defeat
22: Admitting fault
21: Admitting your wrongs
20: Change
19: Procrastination
18: Putting things off even more because you don’t understand them
17: Being unhappy
16: Allowing yourself to recognized what makes you unhappy
15: Having the courage to eliminate what makes you unhappy
14: Having nothing to wear
13: No toothpaste after an adult sleepover
12: No messages after being away from your phone for hours
11: The next 5 years of your life
10: The next 5 months of your life
9: The next 5 minutes of your life
8: The inevitable
7: The unknown
6: Death
5: Loss
4: Sickness
3: The original Chuckie doll
2: The clown from IT
1: This List

There you have it, Purple Angst 100 times.


Life; as we Purple Angst it

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For real, have you ever felt that life is just a bunch of digital meetings through technology. The more advanced we get the more out of touch from human interaction we become.

Waiting for our scheduled life to bring us some sort of satisfaction. Looking at your iCal, Google Cal, planned frisky rendezvous with your pal, Cal. Swiping left or right, double tapping pictures that you like.

Life has become so digital and it all has to be arranged to be engaged. It has become a number of events that you need an alert to be reminded of and your phone as your wingman in case those don’t turn out as you would have hoped.

Facebook events, outlook calendars, group iMessages with your friends for weeks to get on their calendars. When all the while, you are thinking of excuses not to go, just to sit home and swipe for the next John Doe.

Is it too late to go back to the days of beepers and calling someone’s house to get in touch with them. Those were much simpler times; you call, they pick up, you hang out as planned. The not having a plan and no device to distract you being an adventure in itself.

Instead, nowadays, the only time I see anyone is if we swipe on Happn, you know that dating app that allows you to stalk people you cross paths with.

What will we think of next…? Vacation Mingles. You can swipe on a vacation location and see who is taking this trip at the same time. That is actually a brilliant idea. Remember, I came up with it first, but whoever wants to build the app, I’m in 50/50. Who am I Kidding, 60/40 and I’ll take all the trips as partial payment.


I’m Back!

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I know it has been a while, but for all you loyal followers…I’m back!


Oh Ireland !

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Okay, you got me, I didn’t go over there and do the “eat, pray, love” thing, but I did go and do the “see every site you can, walk the edge of a cliff, no sleep” thing, and I did it all without a phone. Now, some of you may be thinking, “OMG, I would have way too much anxiety being in another country without a phone,” and I did, the first night. Then, I did the unthinkable, I got over it and actually experienced my trip with no distractions. I spoke to new people, I kissed the Blarney Stone, I danced in every city I was in despite having two left feet. The point is…I did it! I went somewhere new, I experienced something foreign and with some people I never met before. What is life if we are constantly saying how badly we want to travel, or how much we want to see something and never have the courage to do it? Go! Go to take that trip you have been waiting all your life to take, go dangle your feet off a cliff if you want, kiss a stone that has “magical powers” if you please. Do it all, and if your brave enough…turn off your phone. Sorry Pop, I know I gave you some #purpleangst while I was away.

A dear friend took this picture of me on the Cliffs of Moher… I will never forget this moment.


Timing is Everything

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Timing: Today someone opened the door for me just as I was about to struggle with it myself. Now, I know this isn’t some profound moment, but I really didn’t want to have to put my Starbucks cup down to open it and since life can be a struggle at times, I’m choosing to hold onto little things. Yes, even really little things like a door being held.

Eventually, timing may lead to something greater…so take these little things and think “if I wasn’t in this moment at this very time that event never would have happened.” And when it’s hard to be in the moment, reach out to someone else. Tell them what your are feeling, maybe even ask them about their feelings. You could be the message for someone else that needed you in that very moment. Your timing may save someone else. Think about that.

I have been using my time to stay positive in the morning, especially during the time I commute. I call my dad every morning, somewhere between 5-6:30 AM…so at times, I’m talking to a pillow. He just recently asked me to start calling someone else…so I’m looking for a positive person to talk to in the morning, if anyone is interested…


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